爆笑点名,老师几乎气绝身亡
本帖最后由 a52de940fu 于 2010-4-24 15:03 编辑爆笑点名,老师几乎气绝身亡
学校开学点名，有一个班主任别出心裁，对学生说：“我念学号，你们自己报一下名字，这样大家就认识了，好不好？”
“001号！”
“报告老师，我姓焦，我叫焦配。” 老师有点晕，问道：“这是谁给你取的？”
“我爹。” “你爹是干什么的？”
“开种猪厂的！”
“002号！”
一个女生站起来：“报告老师，我姓张，我叫张德开。”
“003号！”
“报告老师，我是张德开的孪生弟弟，我叫张不开。” “这是谁给你们起的名？”
“是我爸，他是卖钳子的。” 老师赶紧喝了口水。
“004号！”
“报告老师，我姓区（这个字念”欧”）我叫区夜（哦也），这是我妈给我取的名，她说生我的时候刚好打爆了一个电脑游戏。” 老师的心脏有点不舒服了。
“005号！”
“报告老师，甘妮娘！” “你怎么骂人啊？！”
“没有啊！老师，我是说我姓甘，叫甘妮酿，我老爸是造酒的。” 老师吃了一片药。
006号！”
“老师，我姓苟，叫苟不理。”
“你老爸是开包子铺的吧？！”
“老师，您真聪明！” 老师已经有点站不稳了。
“007号！”
“我姓蒯（读快，发第三声。）叫蒯货。”
“你别告诉我你老爸是开货栈的。”
“老师，你可真老土了，我老爸是拉皮条的。” 老师的嘴角已经渗出了血。
“008号！”
“老师，你去死！” “什么？你说什么？！”
“我是说我姓倪，叫倪去寺。我老妈是个信佛的人，我的名字有意思吧？”
“有意思，有意思。” 老师快哭出来了。
“009号！”
“老师，下回说。” “为什么要下回说，你现在就说！”
“不是的啦！老师，我姓夏，叫夏汇烁，我老爸是个说评书的。” 老师已经感到天旋地转了。
”010号！”
“老师，我姓高，叫高完。”
“我姓梅，叫梅良心。”
“我姓吴，叫吴晴。”
“我姓毛，叫毛蓉蓉。”…………
老师仰天长哮：“天啊，我碰上了一群什么学生啊！”老师口喷鲜血，倒地气绝.
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Wind and rainCross one night.
Location: My couch before.
People: I and my disciples.
Scene: thunder arrived, lightning bursts. The house by dark
Disciples ah, today is the master of the deadline is up, but tonight was estimated to be quite. You do not have tooSad, MyLifetimeAlso satisfied.
Tonight, some things I must explain clearly to youcoach for sale you can listen to me, do not interrupt, because I may expire at any time, if I did not account for complete, I will double death of. My life, not only no great merit, but also no greater than. I have life-long contribution to the cause because of who you. Mention because of who you, because of who you have to mention my comrades, I have become because of who you trade a knife, its edge in the world because of who you unmatched. This life of hard, hard work in the industry because of who you only made this point today inconsiderable achievement. All in all, I shouldThankMany people, they gave me great support,cheap watchesespecially for those hard working ladies I went to bubble. Now, I had come to dying, I must pass on some of my cheat codes to you because of who you. Louis Vuitton luxury In ourBecause of who youFamily, these stunts are the sons do not pass Sun, Chuan-male-woman. Such a disciple my only you,shoes onlineyou have to definitely put ourHomeCommunication stunt flourish ah.
In fact, you master the industry had fought for so many years because of who you,cheap ed hardyother people see my TriviaWindCloud, that I have a lot of top-secret effort, doing everything possible to cover me under the various black hands. discount designer handbags One of the most breathtaking one, the enemy sent 七七 49 young woman came to besiege me,TenderSeven, forceful, seven seven ...... a style,cheap armania total of 49 ah, the master IExperienceHow many windRain, But my sterling reputation was almost destroyed in that night, thanks to you Shiniang time later, only to give to my rescue. Speaking of you Shiniang, I am deeply sorry and told me since then, as my identity, it is impossibleMarry, But you Shiniang without any complaints. More bitter, because manyFemaleMistress told me that you do not know how many stab in the back than you Shiniang, poor ah, finally succeeded last year to Hong Kong Adam, thus eliminating Yu Hong loss. Disciples, ah, you are now only 16 years old, but already have because of who you master, deep looks and small waves of butterflies and so on. But if learning my stunts, the guarantee that you will be even more powerful, next level, your kid better than I qualification, the achievements of the future should be above me. Listen, do not mind your little book away and to remember in your head. Listen, the master cheat codes to our ancestors, and because of who you pass under the concrete reality, and with the times, the creation of this unprecedented, whether or not to those who still confuse after, scared women, men, shaking and sobbing by big secret.
I use this secret is very simple, but essentials Wutou not easy. I say this simply because of who you secret by only six words: bold, thick skin, but cautious I do not explain the specific meaning, you slowly realize to go privately, with your qualifications, estimated at most as long as six months you can get through Renduermo, and then, you can sit tight in the top spot in the industry because of who you. Since I was sick, the Pan II, Yizhuqingtian such talent can come alive, in fact, as long as you grasp my mantra, discount coach and because of who you or our community because of who you family after all the world. After I die, if the period of seven days suspended filial piety to have 500 to my old good friend came to mourning,nike outlet of which 380 were able to fallTear, I can rest in peace, you will be buried before in my eyes closed. Do not cry, my disciples, this is not a man of style, so how in the world because of who you mix it? Cheer up, you will have some in the industry because of who you act.
My conservative estimate, three years later, because of who you elite Hall of Fame will be more of a statue in your face, years later, you will be giving to because of who you Sir.
Master time is running out, and finally, I send you a poem right, the title is called "show my disciples": dead space element know all things, but sad not see children grow into. Because of who you thousands of numbers, the Family Sacrificial Rites not forget to notice Naiweng. 呵呵:face (23): 呵呵，确实够吐血的:face (13): 看过了 不过看在钱的份上顶一次 20哈哈 不过看在钱的份上顶一次 呵呵:face (25): {:face (404):}晕死 顶你一下，有点黄。 真够狠的怎么都到一个班里了 糟蹋中国文化 强悍 ,无语 ,顶一个 , 怎么没有禽兽 嘿嘿。没有话可说了。 哈哈，有的过的